She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
