The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
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I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
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We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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