There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
