I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
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he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
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I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well