Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events. http://tfl.nu/5em3
  Replies (16) Good night (2133) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous. http://tfl.nu/gmif
  Replies (32) Good night (4096) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win http://tfl.nu/nyog
  Replies (14) Good night (8338) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook http://tfl.nu/tp82
  Replies (24) Good night (1909) Bad night (10221)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself. http://tfl.nu/3rwg
  Replies (6) Good night (5666) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me. http://tfl.nu/voq5
  Replies (18) Good night (2559) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm. http://tfl.nu/84qt
  Replies (4) Good night (2052) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen? http://tfl.nu/aobn
  Replies (2) Good night (1549) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door. http://tfl.nu/d7kd
  Replies (6) Good night (777) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song http://tfl.nu/uwq0
  Replies (13) Good night (1405) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  you should be awarded for your promiscuity.

  (1-415): View more from California

  i really should.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): you should be awarded for your promiscuity. (1-415): i really should. http://tfl.nu/3phz
  Replies (4) Good night (866) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick. http://tfl.nu/h7vg
  Replies (13) Good night (2603) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right? http://tfl.nu/jd9g
  Replies (2) Good night (758) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame http://tfl.nu/x5yp
  Replies (4) Good night (574) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax? http://tfl.nu/w375
  Replies (2) Good night (488) Bad night (278)

Randomize