I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
