Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter

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  (845): don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter http://tfl.nu/0xc6
  Replies (15) Good night (3736) Bad night (703)
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  (718): View more from New York

  you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out

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  (718): you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out http://tfl.nu/3q0w
  Replies (18) Good night (5467) Bad night (1058)
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  (909): View more from California

  You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"

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  (909): You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish" http://tfl.nu/4kon
  Replies (9) Good night (3706) Bad night (802)
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  (925): View more from California

  Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.

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  (925): Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor. http://tfl.nu/43q5
  Replies (24) Good night (5402) Bad night (1660)
• Favorite

  (234): View more from Ohio

  omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic

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  (234): omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic http://tfl.nu/8g4p
  Replies (12) Good night (6446) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.

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  (917): Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th. http://tfl.nu/pukg
  Replies (8) Good night (4353) Bad night (1179)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.

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  (540): Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,. http://tfl.nu/tnkk
  Replies (14) Good night (3588) Bad night (1049)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.

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  (316): This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc. http://tfl.nu/hh26
  Replies (3) Good night (2576) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.

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  (330): He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet. http://tfl.nu/wg57
  Replies (5) Good night (989) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?

  (951): View more from California

  ...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...

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  (951): Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch? (951): ...and then running into your dad at said grocery store... http://tfl.nu/jg4u
  Replies (10) Good night (1582) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".

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  (603): From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon". http://tfl.nu/l6av
  Replies (7) Good night (1723) Bad night (1013)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.

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  (613): I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated. http://tfl.nu/yhxc
  Replies (3) Good night (1298) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.

  (1-714): View more from California

  I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass

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  (714): He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy. (1-714): I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass http://tfl.nu/19re
  Replies (0) Good night (785) Bad night (262)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".

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  (907): The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable". http://tfl.nu/1zry
  Replies (2) Good night (338) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction

  (571): View more from Virginia

  Done

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  (410): Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction (571): Done http://tfl.nu/xyrm
  Replies (0) Good night (461) Bad night (264)

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