Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?

(402): View more from Nebraska

Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.

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(402): So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me. (1-402): Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it? (402): Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point. http://tfl.nu/yxzg

Replies (62) Good night (1161) Bad night (3039)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.

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(515): Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy. http://tfl.nu/x9uw

Replies (50) Good night (10005) Bad night (2442)
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(207): View more from Maine

life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.

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(207): life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony. http://tfl.nu/6vet

Replies (18) Good night (1039) Bad night (2806)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.

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(262): I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter. http://tfl.nu/r6gs

Replies (24) Good night (4199) Bad night (732)
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(208): View more from Idaho

I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks

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(208): I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks http://tfl.nu/4n3j

Replies (44) Good night (1753) Bad night (3976)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.

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(336): This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level. http://tfl.nu/cqt6

Replies (12) Good night (4220) Bad night (1288)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE

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(203): We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE http://tfl.nu/bmko

Replies (7) Good night (3842) Bad night (956)
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(407): View more from Florida

I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.

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(407): I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity. http://tfl.nu/5ec6

Replies (23) Good night (4856) Bad night (1041)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars

(1-252): View more from North Carolina

I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers

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(252): I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars (1-252): I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers http://tfl.nu/w67j

Replies (6) Good night (2117) Bad night (752)
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(425): View more from Washington

He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."

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(425): He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit." http://tfl.nu/w4dk

Replies (8) Good night (2159) Bad night (696)
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(949): View more from California

Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.

(949): View more from California

I felt like a god.

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(949): Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list. (949): I felt like a god. http://tfl.nu/u6fp

Replies (7) Good night (1185) Bad night (487)
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(563): View more from Iowa

I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast

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(563): I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast http://tfl.nu/ae47

Replies (2) Good night (917) Bad night (382)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue

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(610): I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue http://tfl.nu/1cyh

Replies (9) Good night (576) Bad night (1215)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much

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(413): So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much http://tfl.nu/o5r3

Replies (1) Good night (607) Bad night (221)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.

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(612): This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running. http://tfl.nu/k8o9

Replies (1) Good night (216) Bad night (411)

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