I just made out with a guy for $7.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
