She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
