now i know why i became what i already was.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
