The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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