I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize