Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
