Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
