Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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