right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
