he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
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We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
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There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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