That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize