you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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