Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It's blow job season.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
