ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
