i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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