Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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