Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
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The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
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My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize