their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
