Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
