I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
