She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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