I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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