Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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