If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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