My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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