Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
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"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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