I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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