I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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