allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
