My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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