dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
