8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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