If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Randomize
