From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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