youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
