And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
