Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize