Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
