I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
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i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
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i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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