I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
