Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?