I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
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I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
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Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You blew him?!?!
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together