WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i love accidental penises.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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