can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
why is half of my head shaved?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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