Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
