Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
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Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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