It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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