last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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