I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Randomize
