i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
