When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize