I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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